Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
On February 27
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
26 Things to Do
1) Figure out how to get ALL of my students' semester grades back since my computer at school ATE them. 2) Buy a booster seat for Scotty or another car seat which is more safe but more expensive and all his friends have booster seats and he is the big baby still in the 5 pt. harness b/c he has a crazy psycho safety mom. 3) Get nephew a birthday present and send it. 4) Fold mountain of clean laundry filling up baby crib. 4) Decorate the walls of baby room even though I am so uncrafty and visually artless...Hire student to come and paint baby room with something interesting. 5) Grade papers: 1 set tests, 2 sets essays, 2 sets of "Mask" projects (don't ask), Romeo and Juliet quizzes, and Writing Practice Quiz. 6) Quit checking e-mail 200 times a day while working. 7) Get Scotty a Typhoid shot *after he gets better from the snotty bug he has been suffering since Saturday..we are talking MAJOR snot.* 8) Buy more bottles without the bad chemicals (DHsomething?) Whole Foods has Born Free Bottles, but I only buy 2 at a time b/c then I don't feel like I am spending so much money at once. 9) Quit telling all people who ask when we are going to Viet Nam all of the sordid details. They are just being polite and making conversation. About half way through, they drift into space, and then they look at me like I have a horn or an extra nostril. Sorry people. 10) Quit crying at inappropriate times. 11) Start exercising, ok, taking a walk occasionally. 12) Wash that gray right out of my hair. 13) Pack? Or is that just...UGH. 14) Take Typhoid pills. 15) Shave legs...poor husband. 16) Get baby presents and shower presents for all friends currently reproducing...many. 17) Be a better daughter. 18) Go to dinner with my little sister (ah, a good one) 19) Read something for fun (ooh am I turning it around?) 20) Humm music (I am whistle deficient) 21) Pack up everything at school (whoops...here comes the stress again) 22) floss 23) pick up little tiny toys (Lego's, light brights, balls, jacks, etc.) from all around the house and figure out the safe place they should live when Daniel gets here. 24) Clean junk drawer 25) Give all jeans that I thought I would fit in again one day to Goodwill. Well, maybe they will fit again one day. 26) Get Scotty's hair cut.
26 days closer to Daniel.
26 days closer to Daniel.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sweet Daniel
We got an update today. Daniel was 15lbs 4oz Feb.1. That is the same weight as Dec.27, but he still has some chunky rolls on his wrists, so I guess he is doing fine. In both pictures we got, he is sticking out his little tongue; maybe he is teething. His eyes are so huge and precious. It looks like he must have gotten a pretty good bump on his head because there is an old bruise and a mark like he banged it on a bar or edge of something. Man do I wish I could be there to bring him home right now.
I am thankful for
1) his spikey soft black hair 2) his little ear that pokes out some 3) his big acorn eyes 4) his dark eyebrows 5) his perfect little nose 6) his round cheeks 7) his sweet mouth 8) his tiny tongue sticking out 9) his chunky arms 10) his curled up hands 11) his beautiful birthmark on his wrist 12) his baby legs 13) his adorable toes 14) his nannies 15) his orphanage 16) his life mother 17) his fingernails and toenails 18) his knees 19) the little bones in his ankles 20) his beating heart 21) his smile 22) the other children in his orphanage, some of whom will live close by 23) the pretty plants all around outside the room where he lives 24) the idea that he might have the blanket I sent in a care package to sleep with tonight 25) the bottom of his foot, so new and smooth
Life is a miracle.
Now that I have written letters and petitioned for help, I am at a loss. What next? Now we are just in the undefined wait again. If people from my agency don't start getting approvals this week, I am going to feel desperate. This waiting must have a resolution, an end.
I am thankful for
1) his spikey soft black hair 2) his little ear that pokes out some 3) his big acorn eyes 4) his dark eyebrows 5) his perfect little nose 6) his round cheeks 7) his sweet mouth 8) his tiny tongue sticking out 9) his chunky arms 10) his curled up hands 11) his beautiful birthmark on his wrist 12) his baby legs 13) his adorable toes 14) his nannies 15) his orphanage 16) his life mother 17) his fingernails and toenails 18) his knees 19) the little bones in his ankles 20) his beating heart 21) his smile 22) the other children in his orphanage, some of whom will live close by 23) the pretty plants all around outside the room where he lives 24) the idea that he might have the blanket I sent in a care package to sleep with tonight 25) the bottom of his foot, so new and smooth
Life is a miracle.
Now that I have written letters and petitioned for help, I am at a loss. What next? Now we are just in the undefined wait again. If people from my agency don't start getting approvals this week, I am going to feel desperate. This waiting must have a resolution, an end.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Day 24
Thankful
1) Pillow forts 2) Candy Land 3) Teacher Edition Text Books 4) Advil 5) smooth stones 6) a fire in the fireplace 7) Finding Nemo 8) sailboats 9) hammocks 10) used book stores 11) NC Museum of Natural Sciences http://www.naturalsciences.org/ 12) Paperhand Puppet Intervention http://www.paperhand.org/ We have only been once, but it was so cool. We will go again in March 13) The trails with amazing art around the NC Museum of Art. The Cloud Chamber is so bizzare and awesome. http://ncartmuseum.org/museumpark/art.shtml 14) The old St. Simons Island that I remember from visiting Granny and Pop as a child. Now, it is so touristy. We always visited "The Bloody Marsh" http://www.nps.gov/fofr. That sounds morbid, but I remember it as a canvas for imagination. 15) The way I remember Granny's voice, a little raspy, full of so much generosity and kindness. 16) Pop's overalls, pipes, old cars and old camera collection. 17) Car seats. 18) bicycles. 19) Blowing Rock http://www.blowingrock.com/ 20) The camp I loved: http://www.gwynnvalley.com/ 21) The unique and eye opening experience of going to boarding school in Old Salem. It made me see magic. http://www.salemacademy.com/ 22) The hope that I might get pictures and an update tomorrow. 23) Scotty's jokes. 24) A lazy weekend.
1) Pillow forts 2) Candy Land 3) Teacher Edition Text Books 4) Advil 5) smooth stones 6) a fire in the fireplace 7) Finding Nemo 8) sailboats 9) hammocks 10) used book stores 11) NC Museum of Natural Sciences http://www.naturalsciences.org/ 12) Paperhand Puppet Intervention http://www.paperhand.org/ We have only been once, but it was so cool. We will go again in March 13) The trails with amazing art around the NC Museum of Art. The Cloud Chamber is so bizzare and awesome. http://ncartmuseum.org/museumpark/art.shtml 14) The old St. Simons Island that I remember from visiting Granny and Pop as a child. Now, it is so touristy. We always visited "The Bloody Marsh" http://www.nps.gov/fofr. That sounds morbid, but I remember it as a canvas for imagination. 15) The way I remember Granny's voice, a little raspy, full of so much generosity and kindness. 16) Pop's overalls, pipes, old cars and old camera collection. 17) Car seats. 18) bicycles. 19) Blowing Rock http://www.blowingrock.com/ 20) The camp I loved: http://www.gwynnvalley.com/ 21) The unique and eye opening experience of going to boarding school in Old Salem. It made me see magic. http://www.salemacademy.com/ 22) The hope that I might get pictures and an update tomorrow. 23) Scotty's jokes. 24) A lazy weekend.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Blankety Blank Blank Blanking Blank (Insert curse word wherever you see blank)
I am not really a bitter or angry person. The above pretend cursing session is really a manifestation of helplessness and desire more than anger or rage. Maybe there is a tinge of frustration in there with a dash of sad and a whole lot of man do I wish I had the answers so I could really do something about it.
BLANKING BLANK
BLANKING BLANK
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
20 Days Closer!
Today I am thankful for:
1) Hopeful news for new friends 2) sand dollars 3) new beginnings are always possible 4) q-tips 5) flip flops 6) salty air 7) dark chocolate chips 8) my dad is getting better 9) waterslides 10) my guitar (I wish I could play it beter, though) 11) Charleston at 3AM when the streets are empty and everything feels magic 12) Maho Bay http://www.maho.org/13) serendipity 14) grande mocha 15) Pablo Neruda. Even translated these are so delicious: http://peacefulrivers.homestead.com/PabloNeruda.html#anchor_16131 I especially love "Clenched Soul" 16) listening to a piano player while drinking a glass of good wine 17) sheer curtains with morning sunlight 18) a strong wind 19) fog 20) Scotty likes broccoli.
1) Hopeful news for new friends 2) sand dollars 3) new beginnings are always possible 4) q-tips 5) flip flops 6) salty air 7) dark chocolate chips 8) my dad is getting better 9) waterslides 10) my guitar (I wish I could play it beter, though) 11) Charleston at 3AM when the streets are empty and everything feels magic 12) Maho Bay http://www.maho.org/13) serendipity 14) grande mocha 15) Pablo Neruda. Even translated these are so delicious: http://peacefulrivers.homestead.com/PabloNeruda.html#anchor_16131 I especially love "Clenched Soul" 16) listening to a piano player while drinking a glass of good wine 17) sheer curtains with morning sunlight 18) a strong wind 19) fog 20) Scotty likes broccoli.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Dreaming of Daniel
Today I am feeling the beginnings of a fluishness. Working to combat the sickness, I am overloading on vitamin C and trying to sleep a little extra.
Are you feeling well, baby Daniel? Have you gotten your first sniffles yet? Was someone there to rub your tummy if it didn't feel well? When you go to sleep, do you suck your thumb, or do you rub your sweet little ear? How does your voice sound? What makes you giggle? Are you starting to crawl? Are your arms still as chubby as they were in the last picture we got? Do you get the hiccups when you cry? Do you cry very much? Do you like to sleep on your tummy, side or back? Can you clap your hands? Do you eat very much? Do you like to take a bath and splash? I can't wait to be your mommy. I love you so much. Here is a picture of big brother at about your age. I wish I could be with you now.
Too tired for a list today, so I am thankful for my friend, Meg, who was my confidant, my person, until she died when we were 19. She will always be young, beautiful, bright and happy to those who knew her. She stands, in my mind, as a picture of true, complete, untainted friendship, and I am so thankful for her.
19 days
Are you feeling well, baby Daniel? Have you gotten your first sniffles yet? Was someone there to rub your tummy if it didn't feel well? When you go to sleep, do you suck your thumb, or do you rub your sweet little ear? How does your voice sound? What makes you giggle? Are you starting to crawl? Are your arms still as chubby as they were in the last picture we got? Do you get the hiccups when you cry? Do you cry very much? Do you like to sleep on your tummy, side or back? Can you clap your hands? Do you eat very much? Do you like to take a bath and splash? I can't wait to be your mommy. I love you so much. Here is a picture of big brother at about your age. I wish I could be with you now.
Too tired for a list today, so I am thankful for my friend, Meg, who was my confidant, my person, until she died when we were 19. She will always be young, beautiful, bright and happy to those who knew her. She stands, in my mind, as a picture of true, complete, untainted friendship, and I am so thankful for her.
19 days
Monday, February 18, 2008
Have I Become a Real Blogger Now?
Katherine http://katherineanddrew.blogspot.com/thanks for tagging me, and I am not sure if I can tag 7 people b/c I hardly know if any 7 people actually read my blog other than my mom and a couple of others! So, I'll tag anybody who actually reads this and blogs :)
List 7 random things that people may not know about you. The rules are to link the person who sent this to you and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours. Post the rules on your blog. Share 7 facts about yourself. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1) I used to have a cat named Romeo who curled up to sleep with my dog.
2) I quit eating meat when I was 15, and so my dad calls me a hippie.
3) Maybe I am a little bit of a hippie, but I think real hippies might be offended by me saying so.
4) I only get haircuts about once a year unless I cut it myself. Maybe I should more, but it seems like a waste of money.
5) I waste money on other things like coffee and m&ms.
6) I dropped out of college to find myself, but then dropped back in b/c I got really tired of being a waitress.
7) I used to hate black olives, but now I think they are delicious. Go figure.
And, Kerryanne http://www.3continentfamily.wordpress.com/ tagged everyone, so while I am at it...
1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.2. Open the book to page 123.3. Find the 5th sentence.4. Post the next 3 sentences.5. Tag 5 more people. (Again, not sure 5 people will read this, so if you do and you want to, go for it. It's pretty fun.)
Book: The Evolution of Jane by Cathleen Schine
"The jack of a jack-in-the-pulpit was female. Skunk cabbage smelled so bad in order to attract flies, just the way some flowers smell sweet in order to attract bees.
Each summer, Martha seemed more and more at home in Barlow."
I am thankful that spring is almost here:
1) the smell of the air 2) the way I still fall in love (with G, of course) every spring 3) no more sweaters or coats 4) flowers 5) leaves 6) baby animals 7) more sunlight 8) new hope 9) happy memories 10) the idea of something not yet fully conceived but definitely coming 11) children playing outside 12) planting things in the dirt 13) crickets at night 14) its promise, kept dormant all winter, fufilled 15) energy 16) sundresses 17) fluffy clouds in blue sky 18) I believe Daniel will come home to us forever this spring.
18 days waiting...Day ?
List 7 random things that people may not know about you. The rules are to link the person who sent this to you and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours. Post the rules on your blog. Share 7 facts about yourself. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1) I used to have a cat named Romeo who curled up to sleep with my dog.
2) I quit eating meat when I was 15, and so my dad calls me a hippie.
3) Maybe I am a little bit of a hippie, but I think real hippies might be offended by me saying so.
4) I only get haircuts about once a year unless I cut it myself. Maybe I should more, but it seems like a waste of money.
5) I waste money on other things like coffee and m&ms.
6) I dropped out of college to find myself, but then dropped back in b/c I got really tired of being a waitress.
7) I used to hate black olives, but now I think they are delicious. Go figure.
And, Kerryanne http://www.3continentfamily.wordpress.com/ tagged everyone, so while I am at it...
1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.2. Open the book to page 123.3. Find the 5th sentence.4. Post the next 3 sentences.5. Tag 5 more people. (Again, not sure 5 people will read this, so if you do and you want to, go for it. It's pretty fun.)
Book: The Evolution of Jane by Cathleen Schine
"The jack of a jack-in-the-pulpit was female. Skunk cabbage smelled so bad in order to attract flies, just the way some flowers smell sweet in order to attract bees.
Each summer, Martha seemed more and more at home in Barlow."
I am thankful that spring is almost here:
1) the smell of the air 2) the way I still fall in love (with G, of course) every spring 3) no more sweaters or coats 4) flowers 5) leaves 6) baby animals 7) more sunlight 8) new hope 9) happy memories 10) the idea of something not yet fully conceived but definitely coming 11) children playing outside 12) planting things in the dirt 13) crickets at night 14) its promise, kept dormant all winter, fufilled 15) energy 16) sundresses 17) fluffy clouds in blue sky 18) I believe Daniel will come home to us forever this spring.
18 days waiting...Day ?
Life is a journey not a destination. I see how happy and loving my parents are, and know that the times between the good and bad are only as long as you allow them. They laugh and have a genuine zest for each other. It's all I know... it's all I have ever known. She still looks at him like he is the most precious person alive. They are truly special people.
Daddy G
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Day 8 (or 16)
We enjoyed a delicious and comforting brunch with other families from my agency this morning. The families are as anxious as I am, and many have been waiting longer. In an effort to compile information and to work towards transparency in the process, I want to post a link to a blog that talks about families being approved:
People are getting approvals (granted few and far between), but families with my agency are NOT; at least not yet. What does this mean? I don't know. Maybe approvals are being granted in groups and our agency forms have not been addressed at this point. However, the fact that some people are getting approvals in 13 days and there are families from my agency that have waited almost 90 seems absurd. What is "squeeky clean" paperwork? My child is 8 months old. Investigations have taken place by Vietnamese officials to find his life mother or other family. He has been available for domestic adoption. He has been matched with us, and we love him. I would love to know his life mother and learn her objectives for leaving him; I am sure she did it out of love. I would love to have her blessing at our Giving and Receiving ceremony and send her updates about how our child is thriving as he grows in the love of our family. Some day, I would love to take him back to meet her. However, I do not know who she is; she has given a false name and address. CIS and DofS are, sadly, not going to find her. And her son, my son, is living in an orphanage without a family.
How does the policy forcing Daniel to stay in an orphanage honor or help her. She loved him; I am 100% sure. She could have terminated her pregnancy, and she carried him, most likely in danger of being ostracized b/c of that choice. She gave him his life in a hospital where people she knew could take care of him were close by. She wanted him to thrive.
How does this policy honor our son? He could be with a family, right now, that loves him so much. He could be getting excellent medical care and constant attention. I could be answering his every cry to let him know that he can trust other people and form healthy attachments, and my husband could be holding him in his big, strong arms to make him feel safe all of the time.
How does this policy put the "orphan first"? No matter how many days we wait for approval, "the orphan" will be the one who suffers for it. Second, his life mother will suffer for it, because she will not have given him what she intended when she left him in the caring arms of her health care professionals. I am sure she wanted him to have a family. Finally, we are suffering. That sounds so trivial, but my heart is aching. I do love him, and only other mothers, life mothers and forever mothers, can understand the physical yearning that pulls every part of the throat, the chest and the arms of a person who is separated from her child.
Tonight we had a birthday party for my mom. I am thankful for her:
1) Her hands can heal me. 2) No matter what was happening in my life, she never let me feel afraid. 3) She always tells the truth. 4) She is a model for the kind of mother I want to be. 5) She is beautiful. 6) She is a talented writer, and I love to read her words. 7) I can trust her to love me, unconditionally, no matter what. 8) She is so much fun to be around. 9) She has sacrificed for me. 10) She has made me believe I have worth when I have forgotten. 11) She taught me about faith. 12) She taught me about perseverence. 13) I want to please her, so I am a better person. 14) She gave me a passion for books when she read to me every night of my childhood. 15) She helped me to see how happiness can be a choice. 16) She lets me cry, but she won't let me wallow.
I love you, Mom.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Now, Day 7?
Now we are told CIS means 60 days (maybe) not counting holidays or weekends. So I must rewind...
and be thankful for
1) the frog, who is very little, in my back yard with a voice as loud as a motorboat. 2) photosynthesis 3) Shakespeare 4) the old cottage at Wrightsville Beach that holds all the happiest parts of my childhood. 5) my connection to Daniel through the air that I breath 6) the way I can still remember in my skin and my muscles what it felt like to hold my grandmother's beautiful, wrinkled, soothing hand. 7) the mystery of the universe. Why does so much of it spiral? Could truth be in the center and we are all spiraling out of it, or into it, or both?
I hope my child is being held by someone who loves him tonight.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day!
Today I am thankful for my husband:
1) He is my best friend, really. 2) He is funny. 3) His smile lights up my whole world. 4) He is a great dad. 5) He is handy around the house. 6) He makes me feel safe. 7) He is predictably unpredictable. 8) I love him. 9) He loves me. 10) He has been the person I want to be around more than any other person since I was 19 years old. 11) When we go away together, I feel like we are 19 years old again. 12) I am always excited about the rest of our life together. 13) I love how many memories I already have with him. 14) I fall more in love with him whenever I watch him being a dad, and it is fun being in love with him.
Today is day 14 if we can count the week of Tet vacation as part of the wait. I am not really putting much faith in the idea that we will get our approval in 60 days, but at least it marks something; it is something to count. So 14 days down, and 46 to go until who knows what :)
Monday, February 11, 2008
11
1) Boca Burgers
2) Christmas
3) Dandilions
4) The Dollar Store
5) Enough to eat
6) A safe place to sleep
7) Education
8) Tulips
9) Legos
10) Salt water in the ocean.
11) That tears are the same thing.
See post below.
2) Christmas
3) Dandilions
4) The Dollar Store
5) Enough to eat
6) A safe place to sleep
7) Education
8) Tulips
9) Legos
10) Salt water in the ocean.
11) That tears are the same thing.
See post below.
Help
Tonight is Monday. I am back from "Meet the Parent" night at school. I have spent exactly 55 minutes with Scotty since 7:00 this morning, and he is asleep now. When I am away from him this much, I feel like I missed an important moment. This day of his life is now lost to me. Thus, I am sad for missing these hours with Scotty.
How can I not fall into despair over missing these days, months with Daniel. I want to be pragmatic; I know there is nothing I can really do. Still, I yearn to hold him. I want to give him every minute of every day.
We have not waited the compulsary 60 days post CIS "Acknowledgement", but only ONE family from my agency has received an approval since the I600 changes have been in place, and I am desperate to have my child home with me. If you read this, please write your senator or representative. Here is the e-mail we sent to our friends and family:
Hi Friends and Family,
We are experiencing some problems with the last part of our adoption. The US government has instituted some changes that have caused a bottleneck effect that is keeping us from traveling to bring Daniel home from his orphanage in Viet Nam. There are solutions to this problem if we can get Washington to pay attention. If you feel comfortable doing so, please use the attached letter as an example of a letter you could send to your representatives.
Thank You,
PS Here are links to find your representatives. Many have websites where you can make comments online.
http://www.house.gov/
http://www.senate.gov/
Dear
We are concerned about the families waiting for permission from the United States government to bring their children home. from Viet Nam. Since the changes made by our government in November, over 200 families have received permission from the Vietnamese government to adopt their children according to international adoption guidelines. Many of those families are still waiting for Visa approval (I600) from CIS and the State Department of our own nation to bring their children home. We are glad that our government is taking time to ensure that ethical practices are in place for the adoption procedure; the parents involved would never acquiesce to an adoption where a birth family relinquished or abandoned a child without consent or through coercion. However, we are dismayed by the following problems with the recent changes in American side of the Vietnamese adoption process:
1) CIS and The Department of State are not communicating with adoption agencies. Who is monitoring the quality of service being provided by these government organizations? How should adoptive parents advocate for themselves and their children if they have no voice through their agencies?
2) CIS and DofS are not adhering to the projected 60 day time period for investigations which means children, most likely orphans, are spending months longer than they might have in orphanages. The longer children stay in orphanages, the more likely attachment disorders and developmental problems will occur. They need to be home with their families as soon as possible. 3) When CIS and DofS exceed the 60 period, they are not contacting parents to let them know why. Some families have waited over 80 days with no word from CIS.
4) Now, because of many unnecessary delays, CIS has a backlog of applications that will likely cause the wait for adoptive parents and their orphaned children to become exponentially longer.
Please use your influence to see that the problems are addressed immediately. These problems have severe and lasting implications for a large number of American families.
Sincerely,
How can I not fall into despair over missing these days, months with Daniel. I want to be pragmatic; I know there is nothing I can really do. Still, I yearn to hold him. I want to give him every minute of every day.
We have not waited the compulsary 60 days post CIS "Acknowledgement", but only ONE family from my agency has received an approval since the I600 changes have been in place, and I am desperate to have my child home with me. If you read this, please write your senator or representative. Here is the e-mail we sent to our friends and family:
Hi Friends and Family,
We are experiencing some problems with the last part of our adoption. The US government has instituted some changes that have caused a bottleneck effect that is keeping us from traveling to bring Daniel home from his orphanage in Viet Nam. There are solutions to this problem if we can get Washington to pay attention. If you feel comfortable doing so, please use the attached letter as an example of a letter you could send to your representatives.
Thank You,
PS Here are links to find your representatives. Many have websites where you can make comments online.
http://www.house.gov/
http://www.senate.gov/
Dear
We are concerned about the families waiting for permission from the United States government to bring their children home. from Viet Nam. Since the changes made by our government in November, over 200 families have received permission from the Vietnamese government to adopt their children according to international adoption guidelines. Many of those families are still waiting for Visa approval (I600) from CIS and the State Department of our own nation to bring their children home. We are glad that our government is taking time to ensure that ethical practices are in place for the adoption procedure; the parents involved would never acquiesce to an adoption where a birth family relinquished or abandoned a child without consent or through coercion. However, we are dismayed by the following problems with the recent changes in American side of the Vietnamese adoption process:
1) CIS and The Department of State are not communicating with adoption agencies. Who is monitoring the quality of service being provided by these government organizations? How should adoptive parents advocate for themselves and their children if they have no voice through their agencies?
2) CIS and DofS are not adhering to the projected 60 day time period for investigations which means children, most likely orphans, are spending months longer than they might have in orphanages. The longer children stay in orphanages, the more likely attachment disorders and developmental problems will occur. They need to be home with their families as soon as possible. 3) When CIS and DofS exceed the 60 period, they are not contacting parents to let them know why. Some families have waited over 80 days with no word from CIS.
4) Now, because of many unnecessary delays, CIS has a backlog of applications that will likely cause the wait for adoptive parents and their orphaned children to become exponentially longer.
Please use your influence to see that the problems are addressed immediately. These problems have severe and lasting implications for a large number of American families.
Sincerely,
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Ten
I have ten amazing nieces and nephews for whom I am very thankful:
1) C: C is like a deep fall sky blue: kind, thoughtful, creative, rich with faith.
2) W: W is like the reflection of sunlight off of water: almost too bright see directly, warm, funny, smart.
3) K: K is like the green of a leaf bud just opening in spring: so alive, so beautiful, and with the promise of so much inside of her.
4) H: H is like red. He is curious and sure.
5) J: J is orange like a campfire. His intelect and his passion burst like sparks all around him.
6) G: G is yellow like hope. She lights up a room.
7) H: H is like green summer grass. He is strong and real. His smile is genuine, and he has enthusiasm that is contagious.
8) M: M is rich, deep, shiny brown like soil meant to grow good things, and like his mother's beautiful hair. He is an old soul with a good, true heart.
9) A C: A C is turquiose. She is unpredictable and fun, trusting and adventurous.
10) C: C is like a pink rose. She is pretty and sweet, but storng and confident.
I have such happy nieces and nephews. They are healthy, safe and adored by many people. I am thankful for them.
10 days down, 50 to go.
1) C: C is like a deep fall sky blue: kind, thoughtful, creative, rich with faith.
2) W: W is like the reflection of sunlight off of water: almost too bright see directly, warm, funny, smart.
3) K: K is like the green of a leaf bud just opening in spring: so alive, so beautiful, and with the promise of so much inside of her.
4) H: H is like red. He is curious and sure.
5) J: J is orange like a campfire. His intelect and his passion burst like sparks all around him.
6) G: G is yellow like hope. She lights up a room.
7) H: H is like green summer grass. He is strong and real. His smile is genuine, and he has enthusiasm that is contagious.
8) M: M is rich, deep, shiny brown like soil meant to grow good things, and like his mother's beautiful hair. He is an old soul with a good, true heart.
9) A C: A C is turquiose. She is unpredictable and fun, trusting and adventurous.
10) C: C is like a pink rose. She is pretty and sweet, but storng and confident.
I have such happy nieces and nephews. They are healthy, safe and adored by many people. I am thankful for them.
10 days down, 50 to go.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Saturday
Thankful for:
1) Scotty's sweet friend, A.
2) The way mushrooms pop when you step on them.
3) The Science Center in Greensboro.
http://www.natsci.org/
4) The movie Garden State. I really love it.
5) Sunset Caye at Folly Beach.
5) Holding hands.
6) This kid's album from my childhood that formed my adult psyche, I realize now.
http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/05/27/173317.php
7) Roller coasters.
8) An electric toothbrush.
9) The dishwasher.
Everyone is still celebrating in Viet Nam. Wouldn't it be exciting to be there now? I hope someone is holding Daniel right now. 9 Days.
1) Scotty's sweet friend, A.
2) The way mushrooms pop when you step on them.3) The Science Center in Greensboro.
http://www.natsci.org/
4) The movie Garden State. I really love it.
5) Sunset Caye at Folly Beach.
5) Holding hands.
6) This kid's album from my childhood that formed my adult psyche, I realize now.
http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/05/27/173317.php
7) Roller coasters.
8) An electric toothbrush.
9) The dishwasher.
Everyone is still celebrating in Viet Nam. Wouldn't it be exciting to be there now? I hope someone is holding Daniel right now. 9 Days.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Today
Today has been a difficult day, imagining Daniel and missing him in the midst of uncertainty and lack of control with the I600 process. I suppose it is on a day like today that I should really muster some positive energy to see us through. So, here goes:
Today I am so thankful for
1) Scotty's imagination: "Mamma, this is called a fufu andand and it has two motors that go underwater but they don't hurt fish and he goes bthhbvvvvv. Then if it goes in the sand under the water it SHOOTS (onomatopoeia here) the sand waaaaaaaaay up in the air like this bchwow..." etc. etc.
2) The lesson I have learned: I know when to ask for help, and when I do, I often get it.
3) My wild child in 4th period said "Thank you for editing my club form; we got it", and he smiled his big, irresistable smile.
4) The color blue.
5) Baby breath.
6) Slinkies.
7) New socks.
8) Bob's big "Flying Nun" deerlike ears that move in all different directions according to how she is feeling.
8 days
Today I am so thankful for
1) Scotty's imagination: "Mamma, this is called a fufu andand and it has two motors that go underwater but they don't hurt fish and he goes bthhbvvvvv. Then if it goes in the sand under the water it SHOOTS (onomatopoeia here) the sand waaaaaaaaay up in the air like this bchwow..." etc. etc.
2) The lesson I have learned: I know when to ask for help, and when I do, I often get it.
3) My wild child in 4th period said "Thank you for editing my club form; we got it", and he smiled his big, irresistable smile.
4) The color blue.
5) Baby breath.
6) Slinkies.
7) New socks.
8) Bob's big "Flying Nun" deerlike ears that move in all different directions according to how she is feeling.
8 days
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Happy Tet!
Goals:
1) Have all positive interactions today.
2) Grade all papers that are lurking in my school bag.
Thankful for:
1) Whole Foods. I could just spend the day shopping there. It smells good; it's pretty; the food is tasty; they have cool stuff.
2) The greenway behind our house that goes to the park in one direction and Scotty's future elementary school in the other. The path is like a story waiting to happen.
3) The yellow daffodils that bloomed next to the creek in our back yard. They are early for spring, but just in time for Tet. I am going to enjoy them outside instead of cutting them, though (bad luck to cut things today!).
4) The lovely mirror that always hung in my grandmother's house that is now in ours.
5) This book http://www.ac.wwu.edu/~stephan/Steinbeck/east.html . Meaty, gripping. Characters that tug at the very center of truth. Delicious.
6) What a long walk with music can do for my perception.
7) Hot showers.
7 days.
1) Have all positive interactions today.
2) Grade all papers that are lurking in my school bag.
Thankful for:
1) Whole Foods. I could just spend the day shopping there. It smells good; it's pretty; the food is tasty; they have cool stuff.
2) The greenway behind our house that goes to the park in one direction and Scotty's future elementary school in the other. The path is like a story waiting to happen.
3) The yellow daffodils that bloomed next to the creek in our back yard. They are early for spring, but just in time for Tet. I am going to enjoy them outside instead of cutting them, though (bad luck to cut things today!).
4) The lovely mirror that always hung in my grandmother's house that is now in ours.
5) This book http://www.ac.wwu.edu/~stephan/Steinbeck/east.html . Meaty, gripping. Characters that tug at the very center of truth. Delicious.
6) What a long walk with music can do for my perception.
7) Hot showers.
7 days.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Six Days Down
I am thankful today for
1) Pie: apple, pecan, peach, banana cream. Mmmm Mmmm. I like pie better than cake.
2) This book: http://www.mostlyfiction.com/humor/robbins.htm made me feel so free when I was in college. Then I read parts of it again later, and it made me remember how it felt to be that free. Tom Robbins's books are like brain candy.
3) TinkerToys. Scotty got this http://www.target.com/Tinkertoy-Jumbo-Builder-Set-Pieces/dp/B00004TFRN/sr=1-1/qid=1202342380/ref=sr_1_1/601-2134766-2642564?ie=UTF8&rh=k%3Aclassic%20tinker%20toy&page=1 for Christmas, and they are so much fun. I have a great time playing with them too. We built a MASSIVE robot tonight.
4) Double rainbows.
5) The prospect of this election acting as the dawn of something really positive in our country.
6) A good, deep, spontanious, contagious, uncontrolable laugh.
Day 6
1) Pie: apple, pecan, peach, banana cream. Mmmm Mmmm. I like pie better than cake.
2) This book: http://www.mostlyfiction.com/humor/robbins.htm made me feel so free when I was in college. Then I read parts of it again later, and it made me remember how it felt to be that free. Tom Robbins's books are like brain candy.
3) TinkerToys. Scotty got this http://www.target.com/Tinkertoy-Jumbo-Builder-Set-Pieces/dp/B00004TFRN/sr=1-1/qid=1202342380/ref=sr_1_1/601-2134766-2642564?ie=UTF8&rh=k%3Aclassic%20tinker%20toy&page=1 for Christmas, and they are so much fun. I have a great time playing with them too. We built a MASSIVE robot tonight.
4) Double rainbows.
5) The prospect of this election acting as the dawn of something really positive in our country.
6) A good, deep, spontanious, contagious, uncontrolable laugh.
Day 6
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Day 5
Thankfulness:
1) One day some years ago I was walking into school when I passed a one of my big, tough high school boys getting out of his dad's car. His dog was also in the car. No one else was around. The boy reached in the window of the car and hugged his dog while he said, "I love you, dad". And then he didn't seem so big and tough to me. Suddenly, many of my students who seemed unreachable and unruly became sweet, precious, worthy children to me again, and my passion for teaching them was renewed. I am thankful for that moment and that boy.
2) Mac and Cheese (Annie's is the best).
3) My sister P. who is faithful, kind, and an amazing mother.
4) My sister A. who is smart, thoughtful and funny.
5) My brother J. who has is always trying to take care of everyone. He is generous, successful, and one of the most transparently feeling men I have ever known.
I am so lucky to have P., A. and J. I cannot really imagine my life without them. They are central to who I am.
1) One day some years ago I was walking into school when I passed a one of my big, tough high school boys getting out of his dad's car. His dog was also in the car. No one else was around. The boy reached in the window of the car and hugged his dog while he said, "I love you, dad". And then he didn't seem so big and tough to me. Suddenly, many of my students who seemed unreachable and unruly became sweet, precious, worthy children to me again, and my passion for teaching them was renewed. I am thankful for that moment and that boy.
2) Mac and Cheese (Annie's is the best).
3) My sister P. who is faithful, kind, and an amazing mother.
4) My sister A. who is smart, thoughtful and funny.
5) My brother J. who has is always trying to take care of everyone. He is generous, successful, and one of the most transparently feeling men I have ever known.
I am so lucky to have P., A. and J. I cannot really imagine my life without them. They are central to who I am.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Day 4
Goals:
1) Shots! We need shots: Hep A, Typhoid, flu. Scotty needs MMR, poor kid. Do we really have to?
2) Start gathering stuff to pack: diapers, wipes, meds, donations, toiletries, luggage.
Thankfulness:
1) NPR. I love NPR. Look at this amazing story I heard on the way to school the other day:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1781840
2) Old letters. This weekend, I found two letters that my grandmother had written me when I was in boarding school. They made made me laugh and cry. What will happen to history now that hardly anyone writes letters anymore? There is something about holding a piece of paper with someone's handwriting on it that is so unbelievably beautiful.
3) Chocolate syrup on vanilla ice cream.
4) The joy that comes from rooting for an underdog! Thanks for the great entertainment NY Giants!
56 days until day 60!
1) Shots! We need shots: Hep A, Typhoid, flu. Scotty needs MMR, poor kid. Do we really have to?
2) Start gathering stuff to pack: diapers, wipes, meds, donations, toiletries, luggage.
Thankfulness:
1) NPR. I love NPR. Look at this amazing story I heard on the way to school the other day:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1781840
2) Old letters. This weekend, I found two letters that my grandmother had written me when I was in boarding school. They made made me laugh and cry. What will happen to history now that hardly anyone writes letters anymore? There is something about holding a piece of paper with someone's handwriting on it that is so unbelievably beautiful.
3) Chocolate syrup on vanilla ice cream.
4) The joy that comes from rooting for an underdog! Thanks for the great entertainment NY Giants!
56 days until day 60!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Day 3: The Wait
Goals:
Same as yesterday.
Thankfulness:
1) Sunshine and warmth today. Trampoline time!!!
2) This book: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9E00E4DC103FF93BA15752C1A9629C8B63
3) The opportunity to explore Taoism as I teach the Origins of World Literature Unit in my class:
“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream"
Lao Tzu quotes
Same as yesterday.
Thankfulness:
1) Sunshine and warmth today. Trampoline time!!!
2) This book: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9E00E4DC103FF93BA15752C1A9629C8B63
3) The opportunity to explore Taoism as I teach the Origins of World Literature Unit in my class:
“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream"
Lao Tzu quotes
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Thankful During the Wait
We got our "Acknowledgement of Receipt" letter from CIS yesterday in a record setting two days post submission, so we are in the last phase of our adoption approvals! Wahoo! From now until we travel to bring Daniel home should be between two and three months, if all goes well.
I have decided on an excercise in creativity, productivity and thankfulness during the wait. Perhaps the time will be used more wisely in a positive momentum than a negative one. Thus, for day two, here are two goals and two things I am thankful for:
Goals:
1) Clean my house before the end of the weekend (top to bottom).
2) Look for news and e-mails only 3x per day. I know this sounds really pathetic, but it will actually be difficult for me. I am ashamed to have developed a cyber addiction.
Thankfulness:
1) The Museum of Life and Science in Durham is so much fun! We went today and met my little sister, who is in grad. school at Duke, and my mom. G gave me a year membership for 4 entrance passes for my birthday (which was yesterday :)), so we all got in for free. Check it out. It is a really amazing place.
http://www.ncmls.org/
2) My sister-in-law, the most organized and efficient woman I have ever met, sent me 6 cloth diapers yesterday! Now, I have 12 to start our collection. I am hoping to use cloth diapers exclusively. However, we have 2 different kinds. I guess we'll just see which we like best and order more of those after we return from Viet Nam. Here are the kinds we have:
http://www.fuzzibunz.com/
My friend, M, used these with her daughter, and she really liked them b/c they do not have velcro.
http://www.bumgenius.com/
This is the other kind, and they seem so soft and comfortable. We'll see, I guess.
I decided to use cloth diapers for four reasons. First, there are some really nasty chemicals in disposable diapers:
"Of more serious concern are the toxic chemicals present in disposable diapers. Dioxin, which in various forms has been shown to cause cancer, birth defects, liver damage, and skin diseases, is a by-product of the paper-bleaching process used in manufacturing disposable diapers, and trace quantities may exist in the diapers themselves.6
And what about the material that makes "superabsorbent" diapers so absorbent? If you've ever used disposable diapers, you've probably noticed beads of clear gel on your baby's genitals after a diaper change. Superabsorbent diapers contain sodium polyacrylate, which absorbs up to 100 times its weight in water. Sodium polyacrylate is the same substance that was removed from tampons in 1985 because of its link to toxic shock syndrome.7 No studies have been done on the long-term effects of this chemical being in contact with a baby's reproductive organs 24 hours a day for upwards of two years." (http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/diapers/joy-of-cloth.html)
Also, I used disposable diapers for Scotty. By the time he was potty trained at a little over 2yo, I really had some serious trash guilt.
I have had friends use them, and if a person has enough, the cloth diapers are really convenient and easy to use. Why not!
Plus, the cost of diapers is HUGE. Buying a bunch of cloth ones once (that can be sold on Craigslist.com if they are not terribly stained) is a small expense compared to the cost of buying them weekly. If your sister-in-law starts sending them to you, EVEN BETTER!
2 days down.
I have decided on an excercise in creativity, productivity and thankfulness during the wait. Perhaps the time will be used more wisely in a positive momentum than a negative one. Thus, for day two, here are two goals and two things I am thankful for:
Goals:
1) Clean my house before the end of the weekend (top to bottom).
2) Look for news and e-mails only 3x per day. I know this sounds really pathetic, but it will actually be difficult for me. I am ashamed to have developed a cyber addiction.
Thankfulness:
1) The Museum of Life and Science in Durham is so much fun! We went today and met my little sister, who is in grad. school at Duke, and my mom. G gave me a year membership for 4 entrance passes for my birthday (which was yesterday :)), so we all got in for free. Check it out. It is a really amazing place.
http://www.ncmls.org/
2) My sister-in-law, the most organized and efficient woman I have ever met, sent me 6 cloth diapers yesterday! Now, I have 12 to start our collection. I am hoping to use cloth diapers exclusively. However, we have 2 different kinds. I guess we'll just see which we like best and order more of those after we return from Viet Nam. Here are the kinds we have:
http://www.fuzzibunz.com/
My friend, M, used these with her daughter, and she really liked them b/c they do not have velcro.
http://www.bumgenius.com/
This is the other kind, and they seem so soft and comfortable. We'll see, I guess.
I decided to use cloth diapers for four reasons. First, there are some really nasty chemicals in disposable diapers:
"Of more serious concern are the toxic chemicals present in disposable diapers. Dioxin, which in various forms has been shown to cause cancer, birth defects, liver damage, and skin diseases, is a by-product of the paper-bleaching process used in manufacturing disposable diapers, and trace quantities may exist in the diapers themselves.6
And what about the material that makes "superabsorbent" diapers so absorbent? If you've ever used disposable diapers, you've probably noticed beads of clear gel on your baby's genitals after a diaper change. Superabsorbent diapers contain sodium polyacrylate, which absorbs up to 100 times its weight in water. Sodium polyacrylate is the same substance that was removed from tampons in 1985 because of its link to toxic shock syndrome.7 No studies have been done on the long-term effects of this chemical being in contact with a baby's reproductive organs 24 hours a day for upwards of two years." (http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/diapers/joy-of-cloth.html)
Also, I used disposable diapers for Scotty. By the time he was potty trained at a little over 2yo, I really had some serious trash guilt.
I have had friends use them, and if a person has enough, the cloth diapers are really convenient and easy to use. Why not!
Plus, the cost of diapers is HUGE. Buying a bunch of cloth ones once (that can be sold on Craigslist.com if they are not terribly stained) is a small expense compared to the cost of buying them weekly. If your sister-in-law starts sending them to you, EVEN BETTER!
2 days down.
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