We Are All Going to Go!

Until today, we intended to let Scotty stay with his Mimi while we traveled to Viet Nam. However, last night Scotty and I had this conversation:
"When we go to get baby Daniel, you and Mimi are going to have so much fun together."
"Yep. And when I wake up fom my nap, you will pick me up."
"Well, we will be gone for some days, but Mimi is going to have friends over and everything."
"But I love you so much that I nehva ehva want to be wifoutchu."

UM...could you have handled that? I have never left him for more than 12 hours in his life. I fully intended to ease into the leaving him for longer periods, but I found it difficult to justify, in my heart, leaving him to prepare for leaving him; I never did. Plus, he has, to our fault, I guess, been the clear and constant center of the universe for all four years of his life. The more I picture the moment when we return with our beautiful baby from VietNam after weeks of being away from Scotty for the first time, the more that happy moment morphs into chaos asking for issues for both children. I want our whole family to be a part of this miracle. Scotty solidified it for me last night. Then, I used my feminine wiles to convince Greg. And now, we are ALL, Scotty, Me, Greg, and My Mom (Mimi), going to Viet Nam. I am really excited that my mom will be there. She can keep Scotty when we go to meet Daniel for the first time. She can also be a part of the miracle because she is such a big part of our lives. She was there in the moment that Scotty was born; I am very glad she will be there at the amazing moment that Daniel comes into our family.

Today, I went to see about a passport for Scotty, but I was too late, as it was 4:30 and the line was SOOO long. That could end up being a hurdle if passports are taking as long to process as I have heard. I actually caught a colleague there with a boyfriend (who I didn't know existed)sheepishly getting her passport to "go to the Bahamas maybe". It looked like one of those love afairs just getting started. How romantic! Love is in the air dodododododo love is in the air... I think I totally made them feel awkward by being there, though, with Scotty and everything. Fodder for the novel (all English teachers are secretly writing novels in their heads all of the time).

Tomorrow, I am going to drive a care package to our agency for the director to take to HCMC on her next trip sometime in February. We have packed two wrist rattles, a Baby Einstein teether, a so so soft little blanket that we have been sleeping with for a week, a disposable camera with his name on it (in hopes that I can retrieve it when we travel with picture of his life between now and then), and a thank you note for his caretakers. All items, of course, fit in a 2.5 gallon ziplock bag.

I have been watching the video of Daniel at the very least 20 times a day. I love him beyond reason, and I "nehva evha want to be wifout" him either. Work fast CIS/DofS. We all love you Daniel!

An Almost Birthday Tribute to Bob

Could she be more sweet?

Or tolerant? She is such a funny, happy, loving, awesomely cool dog!

Hopeful

We have heard from our agency that our paperwork has been approved by the Vietnamese government, is being translated, and then submitted to USCIS for further approval before we can have permission to travel. Here is what will apparently happen:
http://www.goodhappenings.com/WordPress/?p=297

I am, first of all, feeling beside myself with joy for the initial approval, but I am also very stressed to hear that is is our government likely preventing us from traveling to bring our son home for at least two months. I am setting my sights on April; hope with me that the process will be smooth and that Daniel will be home very soon.

Wonder

Light

scotty and 1st snow of 2008

Grown Up

I sponsor two student run clubs at school. I am amazed by the passion my teenage kids have for changing the world for the better, and I am inspired by their belief that they really can make a difference. I think that is one of the top ten reasons I love teaching high school: freedom that comes with dawning adulthood minus cynicism. Here are the organizations that the clubs support:

http://www.one.org/
My student for the "One Club" volunteers with AIDS patients weekly. She has organized education programs to raise awareness about AIDS in our school, and she supports, with her time and her organizational skills, programs that raise money for the larger ONE organization. She is great.

http://www.invisiblechildren.com/home.php
My student for the "Invisible Children" club has orchestrated an awesome movement within our school to support the "Schools for Schools" program. Someone asked "Why Uganda? There is so much going on all OVER the world." and she said "Why not? I want to make a difference, and I have to start somewhere." She is great, too. The movie will absolutely make your heart squeeze up into a tight little ball.

What happens to people when they grow up? Scotty and I were talking the other night before he went to bed. I was holding him, and I mentioned that some day (soon) he would be so big that I wouldn't be able to carry him. I told him that he might even be bigger than I am. After assuring me that he would carry me, then, he asked, "Why do people want to grow up?" Good question, sweet baby. Don't get me wrong. I would not relive my awkward, dysfunctional childhood for ANYTHING. I really like being older (actually I start to like life more every year), but I am not sure that given the choice I would have wanted to "grow up".

I have had no news about Daniel. Every part of me is yearning to bring him home and give him everything he needs. I am so beyond ready to be his forever mom forever. Anxiety and yearning are converging to make me, well, sad, I guess. and that makes me feel guilty. Go figure.

Now, on the up side, I love my boys like crazy. Today, it snowed! Tomorrow, I am going to see my family. My dog, Bob, is frisky and spunky at 15-years-old. Good.

Here are some songs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqbcV39Sq1o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mcZdDCOeuE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9upE_PGJVq8

As Tet Approaches

I am planning to clean my house, cut my hair, mend my relationships, and pay (some) of my debt. I am thinking of my friends and family who are no longer living, and I am honoring them with my thoughts and good behavior. My goal is to plan a party or at least a small gathering for Tet that will become a family tradition and will grow as the years pass. Mostly, though, I am hoping that my son is healthy and loved in his orphanage. I believe that this will be a sad holiday for his life mother, and I am honoring her great gift at this time, too.

Meanwhile, we are waiting for our paperwork to travel back to our agency with approval from DIA in Vietnam so that our agency can send the I600 form to CIS for another approval (this time from our government). At that point, we may still have 60 days to wait before we can travel to bring our baby home forever. I hope everyone working on our case is also ready to clear the desk of unfinished work before the new year.

In other parts of life, another semester of school is finished (thank goodness). Scotty is growing more quickly than I can process. He is curious and funny. Every day I feel lucky to be his mom. We are having SO much fun on our new trampoline; the weather has been perfect for jumping mania. greg even strung Christmas lights all around the outside so we can jump at night (Sorry neighbors.).

Please sign the petition created by other waiting parents and linked below to support the efforts of our government in making the new I600 process more effecient for the children waiting for their forever families in orphanages. Please do not contact USCIS directly.

http://www.petitiononline.com/1600/petition.html

I Would Love Some News

I feel like the last few weeks have been a void for information. We haven't gotten any pictures, and our paperwork is floating around Vietnam through the gauntlet of approvals there. We don't know how long that will take. Meanwhile, Daniel is waiting in his orphanage and we are waiting here. Once our papers come back from Vietnam, we send them, along with our I600 (Request to Classify a Foreign Born Orphan as a Member of Immediate Family) to the CIS back in Vietnam. Although the American officials have said approval for the I600 should take no more than 60 days, that 60 days is looking less likely as few approvals are being granted, and more applications are certainly piling up there. If our papers come back from Vietnam this month, we could travel in April I guess, but with Tet fast approaching, if our papers do not return from Vietnam in the next couple of weeks, I doubt we will be able to send the I600 before March. That means May travel (hopefully). All of my speculating and searching for information is just a plecebo for control over a situation where I really have no control.



Recently, my mom and I were talking when she told me about a time when I had to be put under anesthesia as a small child. She said she has hardly ever been so frightened as when she watched me leave her; I was unreachable; she couldn't wake me up. Logically, she knew that I was ok, but she felt a little frantic. That is how I am beginning to feel. I have lost my heart to this most precious baby, but I cannot reach him. I am so grateful to his caretakers, but it does not make me feel better to know that kind people who I do not know are caring for my child half a world away. I am not sure how to live in the moment when I want the undefined future to be here now.

Build Vocabulary/ Donate Rice

http://www.freerice.com/index.php

New Year

Please please, let us bring our baby home. The waiting is too much; we love him madly, and we want him home with us, now.

This is pretty
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3iyQAxfoQbU

And I am a cheeseball but...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qitgQHx9krQ

So why not just because I love his music:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Iw-TXnFUxg4

See how easy it is to waste time when I am supposed to be grading papers. Shame on me. Happy New Year!