Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Thankful Day 139...A Real Challenge

1) water to drink from a sink 2) Wrightsville Beach 3) white sand 4) the funny voices Scotty uses for his different toys 5) a surprise smile from a stranger 6) electricity 7) free boxes 8) sunshine through a thick canopy of leaves

The following cliches:
9) snug as a bug in a rug 10) sharp as a tack 11) cutie patuty 12) ignorance is bliss 13) as smooth as a baby's bottom

The following nicknames given to Scotty:
14) snuggle bug 15) noodle 16) butter bean 17) sugar bear 18) bear bear 19) bo bo 20) love bug 21) bug 22) funny bean 23) squee bunks (my mom's name for him) 24) noodle bear (don't ask me why)

The following nick-names for other family members:
25) meemster 26) pah pah 27) pop pop 28) grammy 29) granny 30) jo bo 31) boo 32) A 33) "Ig Bim"

These funny things:
34) C saying "show me the monies" when he wanted to see Penny, the dog. 35) J calling a delicious chocolate dessert "Happy Thanksgiving" as it has been called ever since.

36) turquoise 37) John Stewart 38) cauliflower 39) iridescent dragonflies 40) chaos 41) calm after chaos 42) imagination 43) (shame) Costco 44) my old friends who I have not seen for a long time 45) the Internet 46) G's ears 47) Willis who took care of Scotty when I went back to work 48) the edge of Folly Beach by the lighthouse 49) my Gran 50) my Granny 51) my Pop 52) my Uncle Henry 53) my Grandaddy 54) opals 55) fog 56) police 57) social workers 58) teachers in general 59) my teachers 60) Scotty's teachers 70) Peter Tosh 71) Paul Simon 72) Beethoven 73) Mozart 74) Van Gogh 75) kangaroos 76) grass 77) curly hair 78) little hands 79) little toes 80) movies at Harris Teeter 81) parks 82) almonds 83) Feta cheese 84) Diet Coke (yuck, I know, it is an addiction) 85) glasses 86) windows 87) the way paint changes a room 88) the day Scotty and I painted an ocean and a sailboat on his wall 89) today 90) yesterday 91) tomorrow

Movies:
92) The Sound of Music 93) A Christmas Story 94) Christmas Vacation 95) Forrest Gump 96) The Matrix 97) Goonies

98) silk 99) satin 100) cotton

Children's Books:
101) If You Give a Mouse a Cookie 102) If You Give a Pig a Pancake 103) Horton Hatches the Egg 104) Where the Wild Things Are (of course) 105) How Does a Dinosaur Say Goodnight? 106) all Curious George 107) all Shell Silverstein 109) Goodnight Moon 110) Stellaluna
111) Are you My Mother?
(older)
112) Anne of Green Gables (series) 113) The Giver 114) The Giving Tree 115) Tuck Everlasting 116) Little House Books

117) eyelashes 118) Santa Claus 119) moonbeams 120) onomatopoeia 121) hats 122) flip flops 123) polar bears 124) flamingos 125) light up shoes (Scotty loves them) 126) glow sticks 127) hoolahoops 128) HGTV 129) stars 130) courage 131) hope 132) love 133) faith 134) truth 135) strength 136) friends 137) family 138) democracy 139) Daniel's Life Mother

Daniel is going to be 1 this Wednesday. I can't bring myself to hope that we will hold him by then, but I do pray that we will. I know that someone else is longing to hold him, too. I hope she will find peace, and I hope that we can honor her by bringing him home. I don't need to say how much I am baffled by this eternal wait to give this baby a home. I struggle to remain hopeful and to avoid bitterness. The time we have lost is small compared to the important developmental time Daniel has lost. Studies reveal that negative effects of institutionalization include psychological problems, delays and problems in physical development, and lower IQ. The extent of those negative effects is directly correlated to amount of time spent in institutionalized care. Why do people continue to try to justify this child's institutionalization? He has a home waiting and parents who want to give him everything good for his health and his development. We love him so much. I want to avoid bitterness towards the powers that are committing this injustice that harms my child, but how does one do that? Any advice would be appreciated.

Tonight is 139 (Over 4 and 1/2 months in the life of an innocent child) waiting for an I600 determination.

7 comments:

Jill said...

I have no advice for you. I will hope and pray for wed. I know you can't hope anymore I understand that so well. I can hope for you and I do every single day. xo

Anonymous said...

I wish I had the right words to offer. But I know when Daniel comes home, all your love and nurturing for him and your family will overcome any obstacles you may be worried about now.

Anonymous said...

How to avoid bitterness . . . ???? Hmm . . . I know how . . . I just can't come up with a good reason why. Far less harmful things have caused me to feel bitter. Fear of a child being harmed is the root cause. That is a tall obstacle to overcome. Fear of being let down at the most important juncture in my life is another reason I feel bitter. Another tall order. I wish I had some magical words. Only CIS does at this point. Why won't she just sign the damn approval letter!? ARGH!

Anonymous said...

You don't know me but I look here every morning hoping for the right post. I know in my heart that things are going to work out for you and Daniel. The timing isn't going to matter when we look back. All fingers crossed for soon!

Anonymous said...

I know that for 4 1/2 months now there is a little boy in the world who could have been rocked to sleep in his own room by a mother and father who loved him, who could have been getting to know his adorable and loving big brother, laughing and sharing his trucks and cars and choo choo trains, who could be swinging in the park, dipping his toes in the sand and the ocean, Who could have been learning to stand and to walk and to say mama and dada, who could meet and be adored by loving grandparents aunts uncles and cousins who have prayed for him daily and longed to see more than a picture of his precious face. If only all children in the world could have a home like yours it would be wonderful. Daniel does and it is waiting for him. I will keep hoping and keep praying that this will end for him and for you soon. Daniel will turn 1 this week. We will celebrate that, without him, and hope that those who can do something about this will truly put orphans first, FINISH these investigations, determine NOW the truth about their orphan status and return them to their birth families if that is determined best or send them to their adoptive homes...one way or another give them what is already theirs...a family, and do it NOW. Every single day in the life of a child is precious. Prayers of hope for Daniel and all the orphans from your sister, brother in law and three hopeful nephews.

Andrea said...

We have already passed the first birthday mark waiting, so I know the feeling. I don't have any good words since I have come to hate all the platitudes already. This does suck and none of these children or the families deserve to be dealing with it. I will be thinking of you all on Wed. and I'm so sorry you are in this position, too.

Hugs...

James and Melissa said...

I am so sorry. Our babies' first birthday was last Saturday and we still haven't heard a word. I know exactly how you feel. Our original I-600 receipt was on January 4th and we have been in a state of complete misery for months now. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.