I feel like the last few weeks have been a void for information. We haven't gotten any pictures, and our paperwork is floating around Vietnam through the gauntlet of approvals there. We don't know how long that will take. Meanwhile, Daniel is waiting in his orphanage and we are waiting here. Once our papers come back from Vietnam, we send them, along with our I600 (Request to Classify a Foreign Born Orphan as a Member of Immediate Family) to the CIS back in Vietnam. Although the American officials have said approval for the I600 should take no more than 60 days, that 60 days is looking less likely as few approvals are being granted, and more applications are certainly piling up there. If our papers come back from Vietnam this month, we could travel in April I guess, but with Tet fast approaching, if our papers do not return from Vietnam in the next couple of weeks, I doubt we will be able to send the I600 before March. That means May travel (hopefully). All of my speculating and searching for information is just a plecebo for control over a situation where I really have no control.
Recently, my mom and I were talking when she told me about a time when I had to be put under anesthesia as a small child. She said she has hardly ever been so frightened as when she watched me leave her; I was unreachable; she couldn't wake me up. Logically, she knew that I was ok, but she felt a little frantic. That is how I am beginning to feel. I have lost my heart to this most precious baby, but I cannot reach him. I am so grateful to his caretakers, but it does not make me feel better to know that kind people who I do not know are caring for my child half a world away. I am not sure how to live in the moment when I want the undefined future to be here now.
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